if...

If I had another chance, I would do it differently.
(Maybe that's the point of the entire exercise?)





When I have another chance, I will do it differently.
I think that's the point of the entire exercise.

friday.

my boss called me "kiddo" and a customer patted me on my bottom.

it was a good day.

owls and flatulence.

i had an absolutely abysmal customer interaction today. so much so that it made me cry. granted, i was already feeling a little sensitive and thin-skinned today, but she was nasty when there was no need for it. in re-telling the experience to a more seasoned co-worker, i teared up. (what a wuss i am! but that's not the point of this story. okay, maybe a small point.)

i ended up having a great rest-of-my-day, and didn't give much thought to ol' nasty pants until i got home and was thinking about how small and loser-y she made me feel. i remember distinctly feeling that same way one year ago today. i had an interaction with an administrator who was nasty when there was no need for it. he had a choice to be nice or not, and he chose to be ugly. in front of students. and loudly.
it was not my finest moment. and it definitely was not his.

one of my co-workers from many workplaces ago once gave me a sweet wish. he said, "i wish you had thicker skin. you are too sensitive for your own good." how right he was. and is. for all the things i am, one thing i am definitely not is a let-it-roll-like-water-off-of-a-duck kind of girl. i envy that in people. i want to be tougher. tough, but not hard.

so i guess what i want to say to that woman today and that man from last year is this:
give a hoot. (about the feelings of others. it's simple. try it.)
don't be a toot. (nobody likes a stinker.)

working.

I start my new job tomorrow. I'm excited! I'm nervous. I have lots of self-doubt. I wonder if I can do this. I keep remembering other things...not good things...I know this is a new start.
God's faithfulness is so constant and so there. He's never failed me.

Still, I worry.

Tomorrow will be a good day.
The next one, too.


I desperately needed grace and you didn't give it to me. You're a petty, small, chickeny person. You had a great opportunity to not be a jerk and you didn't take it. That says more about you than it does me. POO. ON. YOU.