the button jar

I have a button jar. Do you?

When you purchase new clothes, the manufacturer almost always includes extra buttons. I have buttons from clothes dating back to high school. It's funny...I can look at some of the and remember exactly which shirt or pair of pants they belong to, and others seems as foreign to me as...something especially foreign. Just before I moved, I sat down and emptied the buttons from their individual plastic bags into a glass jar. (Sidebar: Do you miss glass jars? I do. I understand that it costs less to transport food when it's sold in plastic, but I miss glass jars. I don't know why. Metal coffee cans, too.)

I don't know how many buttons it was, but there were also extra threads from chenille sweaters, sequins and beads from this outfit or that...it was a neat experience to go through my buttons. I got to thinking, though, about me cutting the buttons off of each of those garments. I really, really enjoy shopping for clothes. Okay, that's not entirely true. I enjoy buying new clothes. Shopping is often hit or miss, largely depending on the size of my arse and my bank account.

When I put on a new outfit, I never cut the price tags off of an item until I'm ready to walk out the door. Not only is this part of me insulating myself against buyer's remorse, but I have a tough time committing to things. (Sometimes. Not with you. You, okay. But you, you're my favorite.) I have ideas that a pair of pants will go with a top I've got and sometimes I'm wrong. If it doesn't work, I will often take it back instead of hunt around for a matching piece. Not always, but sometimes. But once I'm ready for something to be mine, I'll cut the tags off and put the buttons in my sewing kit.

The buttons often hang around long, long after the item has made its way through my wardrobe. By the time the buttons fall off, the item is usually someone else's. When something is new, though, and I've got it on and I'm feeling like a million bucks, those extra buttons are the last thing on my mind. The manufacturer knows something that I don't want to think about though: at some point, the dress won't be new and it won't be in such good shape and it'll need attention.

I am like that dress! I sometimes feel fabulous, in touch with the Lord and with the people closest to me, like I'm firing on all cylinders in perfect sequence. In those moments, the thought that I'll need some maintenance to feel like that again (quiet time with the Lord, down time to recharge, quality food and fresh air, enough sleep) is the farthest thing from my mind. It makes sense though.

There's nothing like wearing freshly laundered clothing. Even when I am tempted to complain about laundry, I challenge myself to be grateful for the fact that I have enough clothes to wait three weeks (or four) between laundry sessions and that I've got clean water in which to wash my clothes. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a sharply pressed suit or a set of clean sheets or having to reattach a button.

Being in good repair is not about being new. It's about taking care of things. It's about taking care of myself and remembering that at some point, it's likely I'll need an extra button from time to time.

I let all of my buttons come off toward the end of my time in Arkadelphia. I ignored the loose threads that told me I needed to pay attention.

I should have paid more attention.


Who knew you could learn a lesson from a jar of buttons?
Oh, that's just me, you say? Oh.
Okay.

G'night.

random thoughts:

i don't understand twitter at all. why would people want a minute by minute update on what's happening in my life? i'm actually pretty happy that people don't hear my thoughts before there's some serious filtering.

i also don't understand the reasoning behind chocolate skittles. chocolate-y candy should be smooth in texture, like good chocolate. unless it's a tootsie roll (lemme see yo tootsie roll! to the left, to the left....) and then it can be more like taffy. but skittles? i should state here that i haven't had this particular candy coated disaster, but i'm okay with that.

i also wish someone (*cough* kirt thomas *cough*) would walk around with me singing "hey jude." at all times. because that would be awesome, that's why.